It's been ages since we last met (for me, at least);
before all the bad things happened, before our relationship deteriorated, before we reached such concession-- to remain things like it was before and to keep it as simple, as transparent and as clear as the 'status quo'.
Standing right there, speaking with your charisma, you're still being yourself, bright and shine, the one that never fail to capture all my attention, the one that I would be more than willing to die for, the one that I would never hesitate to fall for, and the one that I had committed myself to.
Sitting at the most unnoticeable corner of the hall, I watched you speaking; I listened whole-heartedly, word on word, sentence by sentence. The very little time we spent came across my mind-- it's surprisingly incredible, still. I pondered, again, can I be extricated just like that? It's nothing but a self-torture, which apparently does me no good, even though it isn't all that bad.
Well, I do not read so much of philosophy, neither am I a fan of Murakami. I'm less extrovert and I enjoy being ignorant towards new-met people. I'm not leftie and I have less say towards politics. I'm not a ascetic either. I'm not a Christian and I do not go to church. I'm a shopaholic and you told me life could be simple with just a pair of shoes. I take less meat but I'm not a vegetarian. I take all flavours of Ben& Jerry's but not Chunky Monkey. And I did not cry when I watched Princess and The Frog.
Look, the disparity is huge, sufficient even to melt the entire jungle and to kill all the tigers on earth.
You lost so much weight- look so different now.
And yes, our paths diverge.
Even if the night is starry, I remain where I am; might be watching at the shiny ones, or contrary, might be looking forward to even a cloudy gloomy night.
I've moved on and so this is the last one.
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=='' addoil.. u can do it
ReplyDeleteI've said it once and I know very well that you understand. But I ought to try again. Don't force yourself into or out of anything, try to move on whilst life is still good. When you look back sometime later, all will be gone.
ReplyDeleteWords are still words, easier said than being done and I know that. We love you much and could almost feel the pain we saw on you. Stay strong and Hang on, love you la.
cheekeong: Millions thanks.
ReplyDeletePhuah Lee Zhin: I'm actually surprised that you read it so early, considering the fact that you're now rushing work right in front of me for the classes later.
Erm, you know I have decided and I'm determined. Again, I didn't expect the impact on my is still there. This proved that I just kept it in the hidden corner but it is still there. I think this time I've gotta get rid of it totally. But like what I told him , he is still and always one of those 'relatively special' people in my life.