那不是美好的一天，因为心里的孤独感太过强烈。隔离与被隔离，我已忘了其中的分别。
决定了，不必再找寻所谓生命的真义，踏实地活着，就能谱下生命美丽的乐章。
======================================
走在伦敦街头，路人匆匆，我想，他们该都是附近工作的上班族，赶着回家。
是了，他们回家；而我，和他们一样快步的走着，但终点在哪里？
这样的生活转眼间，已过了好几个月。
从最初的不适，到慢慢接受，慢慢适应，慢慢调节，原以为都好了，以星期计算，至多再二十个星期左右，这一切就结束。
但原来，一切并不简单。
某某说得对，问题是我们对事情的看法而产生的。
保持积极，不是不可能，而是因为介意某人，所以某人的言语，举止，都不知不觉地影响着我们- 这是一种潜移默化的过程。
一直以来，总保持着这样一种观念，将心比心-- 感同身受；不可只从自己的观点出发，偶尔也要从他人的角度去想。但最近才发觉，从别人的角度去看待某些事物，会让自己更难受。
人生呵！这舞台上，谁会是永远的胜利者？可以的话，我愿是幕后戏班。
言语上的刻薄，并不会突现你的出众才智；
行动上的偏差，往往带给人失望的惊吓。
受伤了，心灵感受着无法言喻的刺痛，
所以我转身，
以轻盈的步伐走开，
再以微笑告别--那将成为一段过去。
未来，还常还远，我们要抱着希望好好活下去。
Friday 29 January 2010
Monday 18 January 2010
在那最初的地方
让思绪慢慢沉淀
让不平静慢慢退去
让疲倦慢慢散去
情感恼人
偶尔在想
要是我少点用心去感受周围
难过会不会少一点
要是我看远一点
眼前的会不会让我在乎少一点
要是可以顾虑少一点
得到的会不会多一点
心太细腻
但不在对的地方
或许
是时候将心归零
=============
愿与你共享 《庆幸有你爱我》 蔡淳佳
因为真实，所以感人，奈何旋律感伤。
Tuesday 12 January 2010
One last mail-- To the special one
It's been ages since we last met (for me, at least);
before all the bad things happened, before our relationship deteriorated, before we reached such concession-- to remain things like it was before and to keep it as simple, as transparent and as clear as the 'status quo'.
Standing right there, speaking with your charisma, you're still being yourself, bright and shine, the one that never fail to capture all my attention, the one that I would be more than willing to die for, the one that I would never hesitate to fall for, and the one that I had committed myself to.
Sitting at the most unnoticeable corner of the hall, I watched you speaking; I listened whole-heartedly, word on word, sentence by sentence. The very little time we spent came across my mind-- it's surprisingly incredible, still. I pondered, again, can I be extricated just like that? It's nothing but a self-torture, which apparently does me no good, even though it isn't all that bad.
Well, I do not read so much of philosophy, neither am I a fan of Murakami. I'm less extrovert and I enjoy being ignorant towards new-met people. I'm not leftie and I have less say towards politics. I'm not a ascetic either. I'm not a Christian and I do not go to church. I'm a shopaholic and you told me life could be simple with just a pair of shoes. I take less meat but I'm not a vegetarian. I take all flavours of Ben& Jerry's but not Chunky Monkey. And I did not cry when I watched Princess and The Frog.
Look, the disparity is huge, sufficient even to melt the entire jungle and to kill all the tigers on earth.
You lost so much weight- look so different now.
And yes, our paths diverge.
Even if the night is starry, I remain where I am; might be watching at the shiny ones, or contrary, might be looking forward to even a cloudy gloomy night.
I've moved on and so this is the last one.
before all the bad things happened, before our relationship deteriorated, before we reached such concession-- to remain things like it was before and to keep it as simple, as transparent and as clear as the 'status quo'.
Standing right there, speaking with your charisma, you're still being yourself, bright and shine, the one that never fail to capture all my attention, the one that I would be more than willing to die for, the one that I would never hesitate to fall for, and the one that I had committed myself to.
Sitting at the most unnoticeable corner of the hall, I watched you speaking; I listened whole-heartedly, word on word, sentence by sentence. The very little time we spent came across my mind-- it's surprisingly incredible, still. I pondered, again, can I be extricated just like that? It's nothing but a self-torture, which apparently does me no good, even though it isn't all that bad.
Well, I do not read so much of philosophy, neither am I a fan of Murakami. I'm less extrovert and I enjoy being ignorant towards new-met people. I'm not leftie and I have less say towards politics. I'm not a ascetic either. I'm not a Christian and I do not go to church. I'm a shopaholic and you told me life could be simple with just a pair of shoes. I take less meat but I'm not a vegetarian. I take all flavours of Ben& Jerry's but not Chunky Monkey. And I did not cry when I watched Princess and The Frog.
Look, the disparity is huge, sufficient even to melt the entire jungle and to kill all the tigers on earth.
You lost so much weight- look so different now.
And yes, our paths diverge.
Even if the night is starry, I remain where I am; might be watching at the shiny ones, or contrary, might be looking forward to even a cloudy gloomy night.
I've moved on and so this is the last one.
Monday 4 January 2010
Sunday 3 January 2010
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